I Didn't Pray For This...
Updated: Jul 19, 2021
Have you ever prayed for something, but God gave you something opposite of your prayers and expectations? I know it's happened to me many times. You pray to start a business, but you end up losing your job without notice. You pray for healing in a relationship, but instead the condition worsens. You pray to walk down the aisle in marriage, but He walks you into your life's purpose instead. The list can go and on and on.
I know how this can leave you frustrated, confused, and wondering if God even heard your prayers. Throughout the years I had a prayer in my heart to become a well known speaker. I wanted to travel the world speaking at conferences, motivating other individuals to be the best they could be in life. I wanted to encourage others and leave a positive impact on their lives. I loved talking, so I figured this prayer would be answered quickly and in the way I assumed, which would have been God giving me His Yes!
In late 2018, God gave me one speaking engagement, I was excited and just knew the floodgates were going to open from there. Wrong! I did not receive any further instructions with next steps until late 2019, a whole year later. Can you imagine how my frustrations grew? I prayed and I felt there was no answer. I asked, "God what is this about? Do you hear my prayers? I have the talent, so what's going on here? Can't you see I'm ready?"
When we do not receive direct answers to our prayers we can become doubtful of our abilities and begin to feel as if our gifts and talents were given to us by mistake, but trust me God has a greater plan. So, I was nearing the end of 2019 and the Lord wakes me up early in the morning with a leaping in my spirit. His exact words were, "You are writing a book. Here is your title, introduction, and first 4 chapters. I will give you everything else along the way."
Of course I was excited and wrote down everything I heard in my spirit and I said "Lord, You have my Yes!", but then as the day went by I started to think, "Wait, this isn't what I prayed for." See, I never desired to be an Author nor to become a Writer (I didn't even like writing), all I wanted to do was Speak, nothing more or nothing less. I prayed for my heart's desire, but God gave me my Life's Purpose, which is to motivate, encourage, and build up others with my words through both writing and speaking. My book was published in November 2020.
God did answer my prayers, but He did not answer them how I expected Him to answer. His plan for my life was bigger than I could see or imagine. He not only wants me to speak, which sometimes could come with limitations, He also wants me to spread His love and Word through writing which has a greater reach. God knows best and He knows exactly what it is that He has planned for our lives. We can only see so far in life, but God sees what is to come. Yes, God cares about us. Yes, God cares about our heart's desire, but what He is most concerned about is our purpose He has planned for our life which may look different from our prayers. Trust Him!